"I’d rather tell the story than explain the why. When something is just a part of who you are, explaining has a way of turning something pure into a lie." There is so much to unpack here... brilliant. I've often thought that when someone asks why, there probably isn't an answer that can be given that would satisfy them. But I do know that pushing closer to that line has a way of bringing the feeling of being alive more than anything else. Knowing where that line is, and also knowing that the line is fluid, is something we have to never forget.
None of us are promised anything. Every moment is a gift that at any moment that gift can me taken away. It matters not whether you are “playing it safe” or “ living on the edge”. What matters is that you are true to yourself with gift you are given.
I guess the only time most people think about injustice is when it happens to them – Charles Bukowski.
On May 22, 2021, 21 runners died due to hypothermia during a 100km cross-country mountain race in the Yellow River Stone Forest in Gansu, China. The tragedy was caused by sudden extreme weather—freezing rain, high winds, and hail—on an exposed, mountainous section, leaving participants unprepared. I was cognitively wrecked for a couple of days because I was thinking how much of uncertainty and as you mentioned we ra living on razors edge is we don't give a thought in general. Take the example of Dave Mackey as well.
This happens almost in every walk/domain of life. When everything is going well & right or in the pecking order we want to in life, our minds don't go into the thinking that things can go from 0 to 100 real quick and the reverse is also true- it can go from 100 to 0 real quick.
But we are not supposed to think this way because if we would think about every bit of downside that Esther for what we are pursuing then we will be a victim of analysis-paralysis. Alex Honnold won't be able to Free Solo. Trail athletes won't be able to run fearlessly even though there prevails certain amount of risk and mountaineers won't be able to even try because the risk at 8000 meter peaks is quite high.
I don't know what's right balance to make these decisions or how much of lever should be tilted towards the risk part, it all depends on where you are in life and what is the trade off you are willing to make but we as humans a lot of the times are layered under the distorted reality and have to go through cognitive dissonance not being able to make rational decisions.
I held the fear back by focused effort, something I have practiced many times. It’s a wall of intense presence, that zen state of being in the current moment, with no part of you anywhere else. Never letting the fear take over. Fear is a bystander. I know it’s there but it’s watching, not engaging.
I could read this over and over. Thanks for taking us deeper into your story.
"The Death Consequence" of course is the title of Episode 1 of The Dark Wizard now on HBO. This is the best 'anything' I've seen on TV in years - a must watch.
Oh yeah, you’re right it is. Didn’t realize that! Curious how you think about the documentary and airing his personal journals? I have mixed feelings about that.
You used the term independently and authentically for your experience, which is great (and intense). Maybe the term will now become a thing. Hopefully always used authentically and never lightly.
Two minutes into The Dark Wizard I would have binge watched the remaining four hours w/o getting off the couch. This film is the opposite of every trail running film ever made, most of which I find intolerably pedantic. Yes, those were very personal journals. Dean's sister approved their release. Dean himself never would have. Yet the filmmakers were his friends. So I don't know, wasn't my call, but I'm an avid viewer.
You mentioned David Parrish. I definitely want to know what happened: he was an expert, not a lightweight in over his head. But there's a cultural reluctance to talk about death, so who knows what we'll learn. We learn a more from our mistakes than our successes, so I think it's important to look clearly at everything in order to learn and grow. And, darn, can't help but note the irony that he was running to raise money for a former friend of his who had died running in the mountains. So I hope this trend doesn't continue, and next year there won't be more people risking their lives in the mountains "in honor of".
"I’d rather tell the story than explain the why. When something is just a part of who you are, explaining has a way of turning something pure into a lie." There is so much to unpack here... brilliant. I've often thought that when someone asks why, there probably isn't an answer that can be given that would satisfy them. But I do know that pushing closer to that line has a way of bringing the feeling of being alive more than anything else. Knowing where that line is, and also knowing that the line is fluid, is something we have to never forget.
PS. I really enjoy your writing :)
Thanks Curtis! I love pondering these things
None of us are promised anything. Every moment is a gift that at any moment that gift can me taken away. It matters not whether you are “playing it safe” or “ living on the edge”. What matters is that you are true to yourself with gift you are given.
Beautiful, love that
I guess the only time most people think about injustice is when it happens to them – Charles Bukowski.
On May 22, 2021, 21 runners died due to hypothermia during a 100km cross-country mountain race in the Yellow River Stone Forest in Gansu, China. The tragedy was caused by sudden extreme weather—freezing rain, high winds, and hail—on an exposed, mountainous section, leaving participants unprepared. I was cognitively wrecked for a couple of days because I was thinking how much of uncertainty and as you mentioned we ra living on razors edge is we don't give a thought in general. Take the example of Dave Mackey as well.
This happens almost in every walk/domain of life. When everything is going well & right or in the pecking order we want to in life, our minds don't go into the thinking that things can go from 0 to 100 real quick and the reverse is also true- it can go from 100 to 0 real quick.
But we are not supposed to think this way because if we would think about every bit of downside that Esther for what we are pursuing then we will be a victim of analysis-paralysis. Alex Honnold won't be able to Free Solo. Trail athletes won't be able to run fearlessly even though there prevails certain amount of risk and mountaineers won't be able to even try because the risk at 8000 meter peaks is quite high.
I don't know what's right balance to make these decisions or how much of lever should be tilted towards the risk part, it all depends on where you are in life and what is the trade off you are willing to make but we as humans a lot of the times are layered under the distorted reality and have to go through cognitive dissonance not being able to make rational decisions.
Great thoughts, thanks for the food for thought.
I held the fear back by focused effort, something I have practiced many times. It’s a wall of intense presence, that zen state of being in the current moment, with no part of you anywhere else. Never letting the fear take over. Fear is a bystander. I know it’s there but it’s watching, not engaging.
I could read this over and over. Thanks for taking us deeper into your story.
Thank you! Glad it resonated!
Heck of an outing and story!
"The Death Consequence" of course is the title of Episode 1 of The Dark Wizard now on HBO. This is the best 'anything' I've seen on TV in years - a must watch.
Oh yeah, you’re right it is. Didn’t realize that! Curious how you think about the documentary and airing his personal journals? I have mixed feelings about that.
You used the term independently and authentically for your experience, which is great (and intense). Maybe the term will now become a thing. Hopefully always used authentically and never lightly.
Two minutes into The Dark Wizard I would have binge watched the remaining four hours w/o getting off the couch. This film is the opposite of every trail running film ever made, most of which I find intolerably pedantic. Yes, those were very personal journals. Dean's sister approved their release. Dean himself never would have. Yet the filmmakers were his friends. So I don't know, wasn't my call, but I'm an avid viewer.
You mentioned David Parrish. I definitely want to know what happened: he was an expert, not a lightweight in over his head. But there's a cultural reluctance to talk about death, so who knows what we'll learn. We learn a more from our mistakes than our successes, so I think it's important to look clearly at everything in order to learn and grow. And, darn, can't help but note the irony that he was running to raise money for a former friend of his who had died running in the mountains. So I hope this trend doesn't continue, and next year there won't be more people risking their lives in the mountains "in honor of".
Well put! Thanks for your thoughts!
Thank you for sharing this post.